"It's hard for me not to notice in myself–and in others' is that that which we protest very much about is often the exact thing that we would benefit from truly admitting and surrendering to. So if I?m really trying hard to convince someone that I am not scared, you can know that it means that I'm exactly scared. And that song is my humorously outing myself or busting myself again."
"Not All Me" was written in the middle of what she calls
"A very conflicted time for me in a relationship. I've been really tolerant and patient most of my life with people being angry and projecting a lot of their anger onto me. I just started reaching a point where I thought it would benefit me–and the relationship– to set my limit or boundaries with that. Basically the song is about asking the other person to take responsibility for their part in a very firm yet kind way."
The title track to “So-Called Chaos” is a song about the biggest of pictures.
"With the low level of consciousness that we're at on this planet, we are in need of police and arbitrators, laws and rules. My thought in “So-Called Chaos” was that if our consciousness was raised, we wouldn't need all that. We wouldn't need to be regulated from the outside–we'd be able to be regulated from the inside based on a respect of life and knowing that we're all connected." That song is me pointing towards that in a three-minute way."
"This Grudge" is about mystery of the concept of forgiveness.
It's always been such a popular little word, and always so confusing to me. I conceptually understood what forgiveness meant, but I didn't know how the fuck to really do it. Forgiveness sounds like such a great concept on paper, yet when I would try to go do it, I felt like it was just saying the words and not experiencing it with this person. That song is really just allowing me to show my readiness to truly forgive."
About "Spineless", a song exploring the fear of weakness, she says
"These are by far my scariest and darkest shadows. I've been so afraid of being the things I sing about in this song. The gift of my terror of being a disempowered female is that it led me to become a forthright and courageous feminist and activist. Part of what made me so compulsive about being so strong is that I'm terrified of being weak, of being the other archetype for women 'mute and meek'. I felt like at least singing about it started me down the path of being able to integrate those parts of me so that they don't run my life, that I'm not compulsively strong all the time, that I can balance a softness and vulnerability with my strength and empowerment."
"That song is basically the crux of my own inner work and training over the last couple of years where my goal is not so much to be good, as much as it is to be whole. That's my goal– to be all these parts of myself. I remember as a young girl all the way up till today, I would always write in my journal, 'All parts', 'All parts', 'All parts'. My fantasy–my highest vision–was that at some point in my life not only would I feel all parts of myself were accepted by other people, but that I would accept those parts. So this song is my chronicling my ongoing journey toward wholeness. And in that way it is the ultimate love song. It's the ultimate love song to someone else, and it's the ultimate love song to myself. To even play it back, it just shifts my cells."